You Better Watch Out

So we get to the DMV and there is a line all the way to the door. Which means there are about 30 people in front of us. A woman with a cowboy hat and leather vest walks in after us and yells out to everyone, “Merry Christmas.”
Everyone looks at each other, like, “She talking to me?”
She says it again, this time with gusto, “Merry Christmas.” Her eyes dart from person to person. “Nobody got the spirit?”
People with young children pull them in closer.

I smell the alcohol on her breath. Yep, at the DMV. The nerve, right?

She tells us her sister is coming to meet her here soon, “She’s got red hair and she’s much older than me.”
I crack up and the woman asks, “Are you laughing at what I said?”
I say “Yes,” and expect the worst, but she burst out laughing too. My kids aren’t too happy that I’m actually talking to this lady, but hell, she can’t hurt me. Only people I know have that kind of power over me.

So everyone’s thinking the woman is nuts and no one talks to her. Yet. She addresses us again, “I’m just here for an ID, not a driver’s license.”
We all sigh in relief.

She adds, “My mom just died and made me a very wealthy woman.”

That causes people to loosen up. A rich crazy drunken woman is okay to talk to, I guess.
Someone says, “I’m so sorry.”
She says, “Well, hell, I ain’t. She was mean.”
Everyone laughs.

They have NO idea. None. I’m talking about the real danger. My daughter is getting her license today. Watch out folks.

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2 thoughts on “You Better Watch Out

  1. Kitty, that is so funny! I’m with you- when you’re stuck waiting someplace awful, there is no shame killing time by talking with a drunk crazy person. They are usually quite entertaining, it makes everyone think you are so sweet, and meanwhile you can take notes for a future writing project.

  2. It’s so funny to me that people were afraid of the woman. I guess they feared the unpredictabitlity of the situation. I was worried about all the teengers in the line getting their first license, thinking of the wrecks these kids might get into. The drunken woman lightened the mood for me.

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