The Show Must Go On

I came up with the name for my blog right there on the spot when creating the account. It was something my mother used to say all the time. She was the manager for a movie theatre for many years and whether rain or shine, sleet, snow, hurricanes, tornadoes, she had to open up the show.

I didn’t realize that Pink Floyd had a song called “The Show Must Go On” until I wrote that post about my brother, “Comfortably Numb.” I listened to that song while writing that post and that was when I saw that the “Show” song immediately followed it (on “The Wall” CD). Strange.

So, as promised, I have the special story on that built in DVD case we just had built.

First, here is the media room:

I’d like to say we watch a million movies in there, but honestly, this is where my husband plays his XBox 360 while I am banging out script pages (I call the game thing a husband sitter.)

Recently, he got a carpenter to make this built in DVD shelf in there. It’s still a little rough, needs touch up paint and all that, but a promise is a promise… the show must go on.

My husband is an engineer, he is creative and inventive and thinks up some pretty fun stuff. This is no ordinary built in DVD case:

It is a secret door that goes into a secret room built out of extra attic space. It opens all the way, I just don’t have a good shot of that.
Oh, did I tell you the carpenter skipped town with the money and didn’t finish the job? My husband was in there last night on a ladder hanging sheetrock.

So he is in this room without windows and this brown butterfly keeps flying around his face. He thought of Shane right away. A lot of people think spirits come in the form of a butterfly. He does. I’m not sure, but I think it’s possible. That was last night.

This morning at about 9AM, Shane’s daughter Candace, 19, my Godchild, was killed in a car accident. She was alone, no other car was involved that we know of.

The secret room, I wish it were a padded cell right now. I don’t understand, I will never understand how in just two months my brother and his daughter, both young, died so fucking tragically.

Candace was smart, she just finished a semester of college despite losing her dad and the fact that she had an infant and was a single mother very much on her own. It was rough, but she didn’t give up, was determined to keep going.
Here is a photo of her from a couple of months ago.

Candace used to read this blog, especially the things about her dad. She was too shy to leave comments and would email some to me instead.

Please drive carefully during the New Year’s holiday.

Edited Note: Parts of this original post have been edited for security reasons.

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32 thoughts on “The Show Must Go On

  1. I am sooo sorry Kitty. You mentioned “Shane’s star” in your first photo. I thought I had better dig around your past post before just blurting out who is Shane. It’s heart breaking hearing about Candace and Shane. This must be very hard for you and your family. I was with my youngest brother when he died at the age of 15. He would have turned 30 today if he were still alive. I feel him near me today. It did take years to go through the layers of grief. Nothing will ever make sense of this, nothing. Your soul must be fucking throbbing right now. It must be more confusing because you have Candace’s baby to both feel so sad for and to cherish. The show must go on. I can not know what it took for you to write this post. It shows an awesome strength in you. I hope you do find a safe place to finish this year out comfortably numb. Kitty, take care and my deepest sympathy to you and your family.

  2. Kitty. A secret room is not a “secret room” if you post a photo of its door, its interior, and directions for opening it on a blog.

    All you have to do now Cutie is post the street address, location of the spare key, and dates you will be away from home. :::ahem:::

  3. Hey Kit,
    Couldn’t sleep and figured you’d be posting and I just want you to know how very sorry I am for what you’re going through. You just shouldn’t have to go through this kind of pain again so soon. Love the picture of Candace as she looks so sweet and innocent. Makes no fucking sense that this happened to her and my heart bleeds for her mom and brother. They are so lucky to have you Kit, as you are your family’s rock and strength, and you will help them get through this. I’ll be there Tuesday, but like I mentioned to Blane, please call me if I can do anything at all to help Candace’s mom, your mom or anyone else in the family.
    Love to all of you….

  4. I do.

    Kitty, I love you, you are more family to me than the mother and father who created me.

    My heart aches for Candace.

    It will ache more if something were to happen to you.

    Kill portions of this post that are security risks. Honor Candace. Yes. Do not in doing that expose or endanger yourself though.

  5. Thanks Jennifer, Z, Jill, and Michele.

    Max, Victoria’s Secret has magazines and keeps its doors open every day at the mall. We still don’t know the secret. Awe hell, not everyone reads this blog.
    I guess I’ll have to call it a hidden door and a hidden room.

  6. Thanks Pooks and AJ.

    Okay, Max, it’s a big ass closet. I have a security system, two mad dogs and guns I know how to use (I learned from an ex-Marine and can double tap a moving target in the dark).
    Is that what you mean?

  7. One more time. Security system. Four dogs. Guns. Shooter trained by combat Marine. Two Southern men on premises. Black belts.

    Better.

    After leaving L.A. with two stalkers under my belt and living pretty much as a shut in for three years in Seattle, I got real tired of it. There is only so long you can do that before you say, That is it, they get to sleep and I don’t? Screw that, it is time they get afraid because I damn well am out of afraid, now I am just running on mad. But. I still flinch a little when where I am going to be in person gets published. It is a vestigial flinch. But it is there. [Post stalker number three. Sigh.] And. I think real hard about just what I want to say on the net. And what I don’t. About where I am. About when. About locations. About interiors.

    There are things you do not need to publish.

  8. There is nothing on this blog with my last name.
    There is nothing about the city where I live.
    There is never an extra key to my house anywhere.
    The house is booby trapped with face deforming chemicals and castrating laser beams.
    My children under 18 have nicknames on here.
    My face as an adult has never been on this blog (a profile once).

    I would have never thought to do these things had I not heard the stories from you about the stalkers who have made your life hell for so many years. Thanks, Max.

  9. I have your address. And your last name. And your phone number.I even have pictures of your family. I’m sure if I try, I’ll get a hold of a spare key of your house. So…. how much? Hey, I’m expensive!

    Candace is beautiful, Kit. I don’t want to say no more.

  10. Kitty, I am so sorry about Candace – girl, you have had one hell of a rough year. But you’re just getting all this rough stuff out of the way now, because of all the good karma headed your way (ok, ok, this is one of my favorite rationalizations for bad times, if you like it and it works, please keep it).
    And if Max can’t make it to instruct handgun 101, I’ll be proud to play backup;)

  11. So, here is how it went last night. New Year’s Eve. We have a tradition here. We make this cake, only once a year, every New Year’s Eve. New Year is not New Year without that cake. Simple as that. We cut the cake right after the arrival of each year (that is, 00:00). Before we cut each piece, we name it. Like “this is Sophia’s piece” or “this is Kitty’s piece”. We cut pieces for family and for close friends. That’s it. Loved ones only. What makes this cake unique, is that it contains a coin. Nobody knows where that coin is exactly in the cake. The person whose piece has the coin is supposed to be the luckiest throughout this brand new year.

    I asked my husband if we could cut a piece for you and your family. I needed to do that. He said there would be no problem. We cut you a piece. The coin was in your piece. My feeling was right. It felt good. Now I’m happy. Everything is going to be all right, Kit.

  12. Thanks Boz, It’s so cool getting comments from a real clown. Now I’ve got to get that book of yours.

    Cfo, I’m not sure if I’ll be posting every day, but it will be more often than I used to before Holidailies.

  13. I’m back now. Watch out folks. LOL.

    Thanks all of you for being such great frineds and writing in. It gave me loads of strength. The baby is safe and in good hands. It’s not anything I can discuss because there will be a lot of court dates.

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