The Talented and Amazing Spanky

Spanky saw this post about her sister Sweetpea and said, “You don’t write anything about me.” Maybe she meant I don’t write enough about her.

Today I’d like to focus on some special skills of my little Spanky.

She’s got some lucky friends. Spanky does not buy gifts for their birthdays. She makes them by hand. They are not gifts that take a few minutes to create, they are these fabtabulous plush toys that she designs the patterns for and sews entirely by hand (looking at her stitches I told her she would make a great plastic surgeon).

It takes her about a day from start to finish for one of her plushies.

Some of them are based on anime characters.

And others are just a total fabrication. Here she just made a cow because her friend is obsessed with them.

This one is based on some anime character that a friend of hers loves.

She has a other special skills and talents. She plays the piano and the cello, she can write, she can draw, and she can read a 600 page novel in just one day.

She is full of surprises. Here she is at Warped Tour kicking the shit out of a nineteen-year-old guy on Guitar Hero.

That guy’s face was pretty red when the beating was done (she had triple his score, and that was the highest girl score of the day). Poor thing, all his friends were watching.

The best thing about her? Almost everything that comes out of her mouth is funny. Sometimes her jokes are over my head. She’s smarter than me. I call her my portable brain. She’s my righthand man, my sidekick, my dawg.

So don’t change the channel. Spanky will be doing a guest post here next week, a review of an upcoming concert.

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24 thoughts on “The Talented and Amazing Spanky

  1. Spanky is smart, funny and one of the most articulate teenagers I’ve ever met. Plus, she must have a very bright sense of humor, or how else could she ever survive her mother? LOL!

    Btw, Spanky, I so want a cow like that. Seriously. I loved that cow.

  2. Sophia, that cow is my absolute favorite Spanky Plush Toy.
    I begged her for it:
    Me: Spank, your friend knows about this?
    Spanky: No, it’s a surprise.
    Me: Good. How about if we just go get her a gift card.
    Spank: You’re sick, Mom.
    Me: Give it to me, Spank.

  3. That cow is a crack up. Totally cute.

    By the way, tell her she has 30 days to pattern, stitch, stuff, pack, tape, get it to the post office and make one arrive here.

  4. What is this obsession with the cow?

    I messed up really badly on it and it was
    doomed to be poorly made anyway,
    seeing as it was rushed.

    Doomed, doomed, doomed.

    The boundaries of my talent in this post
    are greatly exaggerated, but one thing is
    not.

    And that is that I really did beat that poor
    fool (FOR ONLY A FOOL WOULD
    CHALLENGE THE GREAT ME!) into oblivion
    when it came to Guitar Hero.

    And by the way, Mother Dearest, it’s nine hours,
    not a day. ;D

  5. Spanky, if this your way of trying to get away with it, I’ve got news for you. Fat chance, girl. I want that cow and you’d better start working fast.

  6. I knew Spanky was sharp ever since she was a baby. It’s all in the eyes, you can see somebody’s home – and they’re busy. (Klaus was the same) I actually have a baby picture of her where you can clearly see it.

  7. WARNING: Guit trip return ticket

    Okay, AJ, you got me.
    I will have to break into that kid’s house now and steal that cow back from her.
    The sprog must have a cow.

    Sophia, Spanky says she likes the way you talk. That you deserve a cow for sure.

  8. I am not fussy. I do not have to have the cow. Just an original Spanky Anime Stuffed Thing.

    Actually, I think she should claim that brilliant brand. “Stuffed Things”. Cripes, I am so insightful.

  9. Order: 4 hand-stitched cows.
    Shipping: Australia, Greece, Canada, mother
    Time to ship: 36hrs + time for packaging

    Spanky. I believe every word your mother said about you. In full. I will not be swayed.

    And the masses shall have their critters.

    But, you know, no pressure (smile)

  10. Aj, Soph, and Sulya, you crack me up.

    Sulya, Spanky said she knew this guy was a fool the minute he chose his guitar. He got the one with the pink and black polka dot strap. She chose one with guitar images on a black strap. Yep, he had it coming.

  11. Okay — first of all, that cow is fabulous.

    Second of all, you CAN see it in the eyes. Even in baby’s. And you’re right — that’s the best description. “Somebody’s home.”

  12. FedEx is faster than snail mail. Shipping costs charged on me. Authenticity will be tested. Thank you note will be emailed upon cow’s arrival.

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