My grandmother used to have this list she kept in a drawer. It was an old newspaper clipping of gifts for wedding anniversaries, year one through seventy-five and the corresponding materials with which the gifts were to be made. She was an extreme traditionalist and held my grandfather to it.

When I was about seven years old, my grandparents celebrated their 50th (Golden) wedding anniversary. It was such a big deal, like another wedding. There was a big cake, a professional photographer, napkins printed with their names and the dates in gold, and people who came in from all over to be at this celebration.

I had no use for this list when I got married. It took too damn long to get anything good. Sixty years down the hatch for some diamonds? Who made this list, a dude?

Actually, I’m just not a traditionalist. I don’t like doing things like everyone else. My brothers used to tease me all time, “You just want to be different!” as if that were a bad thing.

Also, I don’t have much use for gold or diamonds.

Blane and I were teens when we got married. Most people didn’t think it would last. Less than a year into it, I’d run across people in town who would ask, “You still married?” My own mother didn’t believe. Not before the wedding, or after it, she just kept saying, “I don’t see how this could work.”

That was when I knew she had no clue as to who her daughter was.

I didn’t just jump into marriage because we had a child on the way. I could’ve done like the other girls in town and gotten married the minute I found out. We didn’t. We thought and thought and thought about it. Even waited until six weeks after the baby was born to tie the knot. We had to be sure.

Once I made my decision, my promise, I didn’t question whether it would last. I knew it would.

And it did. Today, you see, is silver.

Blane and I aren’t perfect matches. We’re opposites, actually. I’ll give you a peek into the lives of Blane and Kitty.

On Saturday Blane was gone all day helping our son do something at his house. Man stuff. I was here marinating a turkey breast, stinking my fingers up with garlic. I assembled a rotisserie for the grill outside (it came with no directions, either), put that lump over the grill. For hours I babysat that thing because the skewer kept falling out of the motor. By the time Blane finally got home, the entire thing was done.

As he ate, this is what he said: Mmmm, this is good. What brand is this?

In my imagination I leap across the table, hook my claws into his neck and put him on that grill.

In the real world, I just laugh and enjoy the turkey.

Marriage is hard work.


34 thoughts on “Silver

  1. Beautiful and eloquent and accurate portrayal of a marriage that is working and being worked on.

    I also married (relatively) young. Whenever I see people from the old days who ask if we’re still married I say “Yup. And if you had 10 years in the pool, I’m so sorry…”

  2. Millions of silvery CONGRATULATIONS to you both!!!!!!
    I didn’t know it’s your anniversary today. Guess you know my memory so you didn’t tell me. Bloody hell, it’s just not right. You look like a 25 year old (Blane could stretch to 26) and here you are celebrating your silver anniversary???? Just doesn’t look right. You must have married as toddlers. If I hadn’t known you for so long there’s no way I would have belived you.
    By the way, can’t resist giving you a dig as you lined it up so good. When I serve Klaus something new, he says “How did you make this?”
    I guess it’s the American way.
    Sticky chicken & biscuits on Saturday were fantastic, thanks to you.
    Hope you are going out to celebrate in style!!!

  3. Thanks Liv. I’m so proud your sticky chicken and biscuits came out fantastic. Next, I am going to show you how to make gumbo.
    I am not sure what we will do tonight, there is this movie I have been dying to watch, so maybe that. The thing is, unfortunately, I just want to stay home and write today. It’s a curse sometimes, this desire to write.

  4. Happy, happy, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY for you and Blane!!! Tell Blane I said that he should take the best care of you he possibly can ’cause you’re not silver, you are gold. But I gather he knows that already. So, here’s to many many more silver to come.

    “Marriage is hard work”. Ain’t that true.

  5. Marriage is hard work, but if anyone will be together until death do you part, it’s you and Blane! The two of you are different, but, how boring life would be if you weren’t. One thing I do know about my bro is that you are the love of his life! Happy Anniversary!!!

  6. Thanks Jill. And happy anniversary to you too! (Note: Jill got married on the same day many years later.)

    They say you marry a family. I couldn’t have have married a better one.

  7. Kitty, you’re my family in every sense of the word. Allie was just saying today that you’re one of her favorite aunts and how much she missed spending time with you. She loved her time with you and the girls when she was little, especially when yall played dress up! I still have pictures of Allie and Kara in long dresses and with their hair all done up. Priceless!

  8. Allie is one of a kind. She is one of the reasons we had Sweetpea. LOL. I wanted a little girl just like her.
    Every week your mom would call and give us the update on what Allie had done or said that week. It was always hilarious.
    I sure missed watching those kids grow up, but thanks to your mom I had stories. Such a wonderful grandmother, huh?

    My favorite Allie story is when I got my braces. She tackled me, pried my mouth open, and examined the shiny metal. After about thirty seconds thought she said, “I like that kinda teeth.”

  9. That Allie was something else! Mom really enjoyed visiting with Spanks and Sweetpea and she loved little Blane’s house. She really enjoyed her trip except for missing you this time!

  10. It’s a cute little victorian home circa 1898. The lady that we’re lease purchasing from had already done the work (total overhaul including painting, refinish wood floors, etc.) It is half the size of what we’re used to with only two bedrooms and two baths, but we love it! It’ so easy to keep up and takes a few minutes to clean. No drapes yet but my furniture filled it up pretty quick. Anxious for you to see it!

  11. We didn’t have a professional photog at the wedding, Liv. I have a few photos, but they are sort of blurry. I’ll find something.
    That is my actual wedding pic, btw. I did not wear the traditional white dress.

  12. Look forward to that!! Such a pity. The most beautiful girl ever, and she missed out ofthe stunning gown etc. Now that you’ve made the 1/4 of a century, you should renew your vows and make up for it. You’re still beautiful and young looking so it’ll seem like a new wedding.

  13. Happy 25th to you both!!!. Many more to come!!! Sorry your mom was not supportive. . My mother wasn’t either. Here we are 27 years later. 🙂

  14. Thanks, Elf.
    Mom was supportive, she was. She just didn’t think it would last because we were so young. I tend to think the same thing about people who get married so young.
    She had gotten married when she was 18 or 19 (my dad was 25 though) and maybe she just knew how difficult it was to be so young and married.

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