Totally Whacked Dream

I don’t usually remember too many of my dreams, but last night’s one was a whopper.

Really dark, but a dark comedy, so if you don’t like that sort of thing, you should close this page right now. It’s baaaaaaaaad.

It started out good. I finally moved to France. Not Paris, but a beachy area there. I know this because I was in a little shop that sold sandals, beach baskets, and things to make sand castles. Plus, everyone was speaking French. So there I was putting all my beachy purchases into my tiny French car when I get a call. [Are you damned sure you want to read this? I warned you.]

It is my husband’s aunt, and she tells me that I will be dead the next day. I argue with her that I am feeling quite well, that she is mistaken, but she insists, tells me she has been a funeral director for 40 some-odd years, therefore a Death Expert, and I will indeed be dead the next day. My mother-in-law, also a funeral director gets on the phone and backs that up. (It is true that a lot of our family members are in the funeral busness)

Just like that, I’m in my hometown. Same day. Same message. Tomorrow is The Big Day. They tell me a lot of people have plans for Tomorrow and they have to wake me a day early.

Next thing you know I’m in a casket which is angled with my feet toward the people, the head of the thing propped up so I can see who’s there. I peek through my eyelashes and am quite disappointed with the turnout. Just a handful of old relatives. At least no one’s crying. I hear them chatting about how good I look.

I guess so.

Then they notice. My eyes are open. My mother-in-law comes over and tells me it’s freaking people out. Oh, and also, my hair doesn’t look quite the way they remember it, that I was going to have to restyle it when everyone left that night. I’m thinking I better haul ass when I go re-do my hair because these bastards are going to close that casket when The Time comes, whether I am dead or not.

Then I wake up. End of dream.

I don’t think dreams mean anything in a psychic sense, I’m not going to be careful and drive slower today or anything like that. I do believe they sort of tap into your belief systems. This one seems to be about how I don’t believe in pre-destiny but am willing to go along with it to an excruciating extent.

But wait… Just in case… Would that Big Day be today since I was dreaming this last night?


45 thoughts on “Totally Whacked Dream

  1. How spooky!!!!!! You’d better email me tomorrow, or would that be the day after tomorrow? Do both. Get hold of a dream book and see what it is supposed to mean. I have read/heard that dreaming about your own demise doesn’t mean that but something else. As usual I can’t remember what. Maybe some sort of rebirth, new beginnings??? Or maybe you’re thinking of changing your hair style? Even so, I hated reading that! I’ll kill you if you let yourself die, so DON”T!!!!

  2. Admit it, you did laugh a little, right? I hope so. I woke up laughing about it.

    A little while after writing this post i got one of those chain emails that said something to the effect of something bad is going to happen if I deleted it. I didn’t delete it, but I didn’t pass it on for good luck I was promised.

    On a more serious note, tomorrow makes one year that Shane has passed. I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about that.

  3. Yes, I think that explains it. Can’t believe it’s a whole year ago. Seems like only a few months.
    Also your last blog and all those dead pets. No I didn’t laugh AT ALL!!! I thought it was horrible, and then a nasty chain mail. Too much. I had switched off the computer for the night and was brushing my teeth, when I got the feeling I should go to your blog again. And there you were. Now I am heading to bed. Don’t want any dreams, so don’t voodoo your mortal thoughts my way. in the morning I shall be sendingwishes for you to have a light sweet sleep that you will wake up from a few hours later. Good night my dearzzzzzzzzzzzz

  4. Crazy!! I could not have walked that one off. When I remember a dream like that, the whole day after is colored by it. It’s to the point where my husband will wonder why I’m so mean to him, then he’ll say “What did I do in your dream?”

    The best gift I ever got from him (and he’s pretty good at gift giving) was a dream journal. It was actually intended for kids (silver pen on black paper) but it was so great to finally keep serious track of all the crazy shit coming out of my brain all night.

    And you’ve just convinced me to go with cremation, when it’s time. I DO NOT need people f&%$ing with my hair, when I can’t do anything about it.

  5. Ginny and Liv, it doesn’t bother me, really. As I said I woke up sort of entertained about having my eyes open and being disappointed with the turnout.

    I left out the part about the severed head. Want to hear that part?

  6. Of course. “Kitty, you are dead, you should keep your eyes shut it is just more becoming on a dead girl and also it is freaking out the guests you batting your eyelashes like that now stop that.”

  7. The guest knew I wasn’t dead. Yet. They were pre-celebrating. They just thought I’d have a little more class and quit looking at them looking at me.

  8. You know. The dreams are really getting to me. A major hurricane got us all. Shane is really missed here. He speaks thru the train howling in the midnight breeze.

  9. I’m laughing my ass off. Okay, no, I don’t believe that your ass is moving to higher places tomorrow (or is it today? I’m confused). But if I were you, I wouldn’t go to the hairdresser’s… just in case.

    [It wouldn’t hurt, though, if you either called or emailed]

  10. Max, now that would be a proper wake. New Orleans style. Add some jazz musicians and a few umbrellas.

    Sophia, I’m still here.

    Liv, the severed head thing is actually funny. It was just my father-in-law bringing a severed head to my casket and asking if I’d help him shave it when I got up to do my hair. I told him “sure.”

    Voodoo, I had a dream of him last night. Not a bad one, but I can’t remember the details of it.

  11. Kitty, my grandmother always told me and she believed in it to the fullest that when you have dreams that is the angels asking for prays. And to have stronger faith. Hope you have a wonderful day with Shane in memory.

  12. WIth all due respect to Liv and her very genuine concern and love – I laughed hard at this dream. I mean hard. I get that it’s spooky. I get that it’s always creepy to have death in a dream – in whatever form – and I hope you know how truly sorry I am that you have had to deal with death so much this past year…

    But I’m with max on the “your freaking out the guests bit” being brilliant and doing the wake early to suit everyone’s schedules – well the slackers who bothered to show up – this is freakin’ hilarious. A great set-piece moment in a story perhaps??? (you saw it here first folks!)

    On a more serious note – this felt a like you were being blown around by everyone else’s plans but your own. Had to leave something beautiful – life in France – to make other people happy… So giving of yourself that even your death will have to convenience others. But – that’s just my take obviously and I’m feeling a bit beleaguered these days so I may be projecting (smile).

    It’s a great post, Kitty. Thank you for sharing.

  13. I am probably being overly feeble about all this, but the thought of all the deaths that Kitty had to grieve for this last year brings on a big hard knot in my stomack, so the thought of Kitty’s death (even in a funny dream) is too much for me. Kitty, you know how utterly soppy I am. You should have told the story as if it was about someone I didn’t know, then I might have shared your laughter. Sorry for being such a wet blanket. I CAN be though, I just can’t remember in what sort of situations.

  14. Hey afr, haven’t seen you in a while. Hope you and yours are well. I haven’t heard that one before about the angels. I have heard that dreams of death mean the opposite, that a new life is around the corner.

    Sulya, brilliant dream analysis. I am really like that in life, quite accomodating at times, and patient to a fault. If there is a squeaky wheel, I am there with the oil. On the other hand, my husband claims I am stubborn and don’t give a rat’s ass about what people think. That is a little bit true.
    Glad you had a laugh about this dream.

    Liv. I know you’re soppy, that disclaimer at the beginning of the post was written with you in mind. I also knew you’d keep reading anyway. LOL. So I put another disclaimer. I’ll email you with a warning next time. : )

    Now here is the thing. Death is a part of life. We are allowed to laugh and even make jokes about it. For me, it the only sort of victory I have over death. Welcome the fucker in my dreams and dare it to come back.
    For me this dream was a gift. I know that sounds warped. But it had me laughing yesterday when I thought my mood would be fucked because it was One Year.

  15. OH, this one is really simple. You just need a new haircut, that’s all.

    Of course, don’t listen to me. I don’t want to be responsible if something does happen and all because of haircut!

  16. Wow, i don’t know who voodoo child is but yes I would agree, my dad is missed alot. I find it very odd that you post this exactly one day before Oct 2nd 2007. I fell asleep on the couch that night. i dont remember the details of the dream at all, but i was in an uncontrollable cry. It’s was so bad, or so real that i woke up with my heart racing and tears in my eyes. Maybe your dream was not so much about you but a reminder of your brother.

    I love dreams, day dreams or deep sleep. Alot of useful information is formulated in your dreams, thoughts that you can’t or won’t normally have, or feelngs you don’t normally share. Dreams can’t be held as just useless skits that run around while you are unaware of your surroundings. You have to remember the root of every dream is a brain, your brain. So what’s to say your brain shuts off and has no control of these thoughts or “dreams” just because the rest of your body has no control of itself.

    i used to study my sleep patterns while I was in school. A person can influence a dream by watching a movie before fallng asleep, how little sleep they have had, current life events or even pre-meditating about a subject to dream about. Not all of them relate to anything true or important but sometimes they do bleed over from reality. Dumb thing about all of this is, you hardly ever remember the ones that are meaningful.


  17. Stiletto, great idea, it is definately time for the hair salon. Just a wash and blow dry is sooooo relaxing. If I were rich, I’d have a hairdresser on staff just to brush my hair. I’d give up chocolate for that.

    Capone, I’ve been thinking about you this week. I should have called you yesterday. I thought about it, but that is all i did, thought about it. Now i wish i had. Call me anytime, dude, anytime. Hugs and kisses.

  18. I was about to say Kitty’s an angel, but not in this posting I won’t. So I’ll just say you got the kindest heart.
    Capone, you’re so right.
    Last night when I was reading this, I suddenly heard the sound Coburn used to make when he gave himself a good shake. Loud and clear as if he was right next to me. Shook me up quite a bit.

  19. Shane came to me in a beautiful dream last night. He came to me in the dream, and said to meet him at the store where we bought a coke . No one else could see him. We took a ride on his flying motorcycle. It did not make any sound, just music in the air. We flew over traffic and went to the forest. Where there were cartoons to color, and they came to life when he would color in their mouths and eyes. Our friends came to meet us. The moonlight was dapple comming thru the trees. The night flew by too quickly. While we played with babies and puppies.

  20. You knew Shane well, Voodoo. He would have a flying motor cycle and nothing but music.

    Liv, no, you can’t call me an angel, that would ruin my rep.

  21. What a perfect dream to remind you to get up each day and live it more fully. Or, perhaps you had a premonition dream. In that case, it’s been nice to know ya. 😉

  22. The last time I had a death dream all these weird animals were trying to get into my house – I wasn’t scared until the part where this guy walked in through the back door and he had a cloth over his face, you know about this Kitty- you spray this embalming soloution around the mouth and nose and then cover the face with a cloth.

    Anyway in my dream I thought…oh m GOD that guy is REALLY DEAD and he’s walking towards me.

    Scared me enough to keep the lights on for the rest of the night.

    anita marie

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