Return of the Freak

I’m disturbed. Early this morning I found myself standing in the kitchen with a spoonful of milk and ketchup in my mouth. I just stood there stunned, in a haze. Slowly things came into focus. I’d been sleepwalking.

I had poured half a bowl of ketchup, added milk, tried to eat it like cereal. That’s not all. There was a saucer right beside it with cereal flakes and ketchup. Looks like I’d tried dipping the cereal in ketchup.

What’s worse is I actually have a memory of trying to destroy the evidence. I washed out the bowl of ketchup and milk but left out the saucer with the cereal and ketchup. When I finally fully woke up for the day, I saw it and had the flashback of the loving spoonful. Then had a bellyache all day.

Blane says he’s worried i might get into the knives one night. I’m not since I have no violent tendencies. I’ve never even spanked any of my kids. Not even once.

Speaking of strange food. This is funny. One time my mom was making grilled cheese for her grandkids. She forgot to take the plastic wrapper off the cheese slices. The kids were biting into their sandwiches, hitting the wrapper and scraping off the melted cheese and bread with their little teeth. Laughing like maniacs. She didn’t know why they were laughing and kept cranking out more of them. With the wrapper.

Anyway, I better get rid of the bug poison in the pantry before I lay me down to sleep tonight.


24 thoughts on “Return of the Freak

  1. Good, you’ve got no violent tendencies, but you sure got real bad taste in your “nightlife”!!!! Ketchup!!! I feel sick when I’m on the same table as someone who uses it. The foul smell goes down my airways, stinging as it goes along, hits my gut and keeps on turning. Wonder how much of the stuff you actually ate??? No wonder you had bellyache! Think I prefer your mom’s grilled cheese w/plastic sandwiches. That was really funny!
    You should get Blane to rig up some sort of alarm for you. A mat by your bedside that makes a noise to wake you up when you step on it. Or handcuff yourself to the bedpost….or Blane.

  2. He is getting more and more worried about the sleepwalking as it gets worse. Worried I’ll end up in the pool, too.
    We have an alarm system, so if I open the door, the whole neighborhood will wake up.
    I told my doc about it yesterday and the first question he asked was if I used street drugs. LOL. Pleeeeeze.

  3. I use ketchup on almost anything I eat (and I don’t even sleepwalk), but I have never so far tried it on cereals. Does it taste any good? Maybe I should give it a try. LOL! That part is hilarious. Your sleepwalking getting worse is not. No wonder Blane is worried. A friend of my mother’s, her husband used to sleepwalk and had even left the house while she was sleeping. The poor woman got so stressed that she came up with a briliant idea: she tied two bells around her husband’s ankles, so every time he would get off bed during the night the bells would wake her up and she could look after him. Think about it. It would be like ankle chains but with music.

  4. When I was in my twenties I used to sleepwalk- the thing is if someone locked a door or moved something after I’d fallen asleep I’d stand there turning the knob or just stalled in front of whatever it was that was in my way.

    But if I locked the door myself or watched it happen- off I’d go.

    Weird isn’t it?

  5. That’s funny, Sophia. Scary at the same time, though. Once the sleepwalking takes me outside, I’ll go to a sleep clinic or something.

    Liv, why you hating on ketchup? It’s great on TGI Friday’s onion rings.

    Daily, ketchup tastes really bad in a bowl of milk, enough to wake a sleep zombie.

    Anita, that is strange. I’m the opposite, I hide the chocolate from my sleepwalk self and it works. Hey, you need to go check out that impossible rock and roll quiz. (I’m thinking you’ll blow that thing to smithereens)

  6. That explains it Sophia!!! LOL.
    I hate ketchup becaus it’s awful. And it’s absolute sacrilege to bring it anywhere near the total delight that is TGI Friday’s onion rings!!! I could cry!!!

  7. Oh no, Penguin, it’s so bad it could make a rat puke.

    Michele, I think it has something to do with the same way I sleeptalk. Mix the beginning of one word with the ending of another. I was probably just trying to eat a bowl of cereal and maybe dreaming at the same time that I was eating some fries or something one would dip in ketchup?

    LOL Liv, I knew you would hit the ceiling about TGIF’s onion rings.

  8. It most certainly did, Betty. LOL. I gagged.

    Liv, now I have a craving for some onion rings from Friday’s. I think I’ll hit that place tomorrow. Will have lots of ketchup with that.

  9. Kitty!

    My brother sleepwalks. It’s really creepy because he does it with his eyes open. My wife and I believe our son has the sleepwalking gene, too . . .


  10. Hey Bro!

    Most of the time I look as if I’m awake while I’m sleepwalking because my eyes are open too. Lately I’ve awakened in the kitchen, sleeping while standing up with my eyes closed.

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