The Search Term That Broke My Heart

About once a week I get bored and look into my WordPress admin panel to see what search terms people are using to find my blog. Some of them can be hilarious, others a little sickening, and then some I get frustrated about because I actually want to answer this someone out there.

Around this time last year, someone found my blog by typing into Google, “Is Santa Ture [true]?” I imagined some little kid with the power of the world wide web at his fingertips. A kid maybe afraid of not getting presents if he dared ask in “real life.” A kid who thinks he knows where to go to find the answer to everything.

So I just did a Google search on that question with the word spelled correctly and it looks like everything on that first page is going to leave that kid right where he started.



22 thoughts on “The Search Term That Broke My Heart

  1. I just had the Santa conversation with a good friend of mine last weekend. We both agreed that we stunt the emotional health of our kids by f-ing with their minds convincing them to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy…only to let them find out from older siblings or the mean kids on the school bus that they’re all frauds. And now, we know what keeps psychiatrists in business.

  2. Being the youngest of four. The family would make me stay with an aunt next door, while they played with my gifts. This went on for weeks before Christmas. So. I had to miss out on that for the sake of Santa. Having had enough of that, I let on that it was true that Daddy shot Santa for taking his booze. Santa would not be around here again. From then on we all played with all the gifts when our parents were gone. It was more fun to sneak.

  3. What?! Are you saying that there is the slimmest possibility that Santa may not be real? BUt the mince pies disappear! And the glass of port! I mean, how else can that be explained?!

  4. Michele, I’m glad you spotted that, I always wondered how my post showed up in that search. Funny that you would be the one to ask which post it was. Mystery solved!

    Betty, not at all. : )

    Voodoo, my brothers used to find their presents and do the same.


    Anita Marie, I wrote about that search term in the comments section on your blog a while back. LOL. It was a post about search terms, I think. If you Google it, you’ll find it.

    Bec, you have either a thief or a Santa on your hands. Thieves don’t leave presents. : )

  5. When Klaus had just turned 2 years old (and still “knew” there was a Father Christmas) I took him to this fantastic grotto somewhere. It was a really nice big grotto with all sorts of things in and I had paid more than I wanted to to get him in there. Right in the middle of this winter wonderland sat Father Christmas. When it was Klaus’ turn he shot straight past him and started to check out all the wonderful stuff. I called after him and said Father Christmas wanted to see him. “Nah, it’s just a man”. Everybody was looking at me, some was laughing, others were going “Ahhh”, my face must have been a picture in itself. I was crushed. How the hell did the kid know??? Nobody could have told him. He hadn’t been out of my sight since he was born! He finished checking out the place and was heading back to me when Father Christmas had to call him back for his gift. Walking out of there I asked Klaus why he thought it was just a man and not the real deal, and he told me that there’s men dressed like Father Christmas all over the place, but everybody knows Father Christmas is in Lappland until Christmas Eve, and nobody sees him. I felt a fool and more than a little sad that I didn’t get a photo of my kid on Santa’s lap, face full of awe.

  6. Yeah, I remember that about Klaus. Really smart kid. Great story. Didn’t he figure out how to read on his own?

    Penguin, now they will come here for all that stuff. LOL. I am yet to master how all that search stuff works but I’ve been able to hand off search terms I get by putting them in comments on other people’s blogs.

    Voodoo, you’ll have to check out my most recent post on roux. You know how to make one?

  7. A couple of years back I was working in the Complaints Department at the Better Business Bureau. I opened up a letter, adressed to my department, and inside was a kid’s letter to Santa. (Wow, the poor people at Canada Post who had to read the kids’ mom’s pissed off letter about a transaction gone awry!). Anyway, I was just going to forward it to Canada Post, but then I read the end where the kid said “My friends laugh at me because I believe in you.” I looked at the calendar, realized it was way too close to Christmas to fuck around. I scoured the office for green paper, downloaded Christmas clip art, wrote a letter back to the kid, wrote one to his mom, explaining what she had done, then express mailed it. Totally should have been working. Totally worth it. Sappy, sappy me, I just hope he had one more year of magical belief.

  8. Kitty:

    As you well know, I believe in lots of things: ghosts, aliens, and the Loch Ness Monster to name a few.

    I also believe in Santa Claus. I always have and I always will. I know that most people don’t, and that it’s certainly arguable whether or not a physical being actually enters your home on Christmas Eve; but I do believe and what I’m about to tell you is the closest thing to actual proof that I have to offer.

    Several years ago, I was working as an attraction host at the BODY WARS attraction at Disney World’s EPCOT Center. It was the middle of June. An older gentleman and his wife passed through the ride’s photocell and waited patiently for me to assign them to one of the ride’s many crooked and complicated queues. The couples’ physical resemblance to Mr and Mrs. Claus was uncanny – both were dressed in a subtle arrangement of red and green clothing (nothing overtly garish, you understand) and the gentleman had both a shiny bald pate and a full but very closely and neatly trimmed white beard. His companion had beautifully thick, white hair and seemed to me to have the kindest, most wonderfully warm smile I’ve ever seen on a human being. Of course, I acknowledged the two of them humorously as “Mr. and Mrs. Claus”; knowing full well that they must have heard the same greeting countless times before.

    But what happened next sent chills up my spine and forever changed the way I envisioned the entity of Santa Claus.

    As we made our way away from the crowd and towards the loading area, the gentleman nudged me gently and produced from his pocket a weathered, brown leather wallet – softened by who knows how many years of use. Inside that wallet, I kid you not – were a plethora of driver’s licenses (I remember seeing four or five different ones but there is no doubt in my mind that there existed in that wallet a driving permit for every one of the fifty states, and probably one for every territory in the world). Every single one of them read S. Clause or some variation thereof (I believe there was even a creatively spelled “Christopher Kringle” in there). When I looked up at the gentleman, he just peered at me over the tiny wire spectacles perched on the end of his nose and winked. Then he and his wife got on the ride. From the time they entered the attraction until the time they left the building, neither one of them ever uttered a word.

    Needless to say, I sleepwalked through the rest of that day, unable to stop thinking about those two. I also felt amazingly hopeful and happy, and remember feeling very friendly before I ever even addressed them.

    I suppose even immortals take vacations.

  9. Wow, Rochelle, I got goosebumps. If I didn’t know you, I’d think you were pulling my leg. But I do know you.

    I believe every word. Thank you for your story. Maybe that kid will come back and find his answer here.

  10. The saddest search term I’ve had on my blog is: “I was always enough but no one believed”

    I actually burst into tears…

    As to Santa – it’s been nice to read all of these posts here. I’m asking my own questions about santa these days now that I have a little boy who is totally enamoured of every christmas tree he sees…

    Anyway – cool that that little boy got all these grups talkin’…

  11. Aww. Sulya. (hugs)

    That’s why I don’t look at them too often. I can’t do anything about them, have no idea who they are, or if they will ever be back.

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