My husband is so well known for being a tightwad that a co-worker framed a dollar he won from him in a bet. Spanky and Blane II inherited this “illness.” I’ve always had to force those two to buy new clothes, with my money.
Sweetpea is quite the opposite, she could easily blow $40 on t-shirt. Funny thing about her, though, if she can haggle over the price, watch out vendor. This is a skill she got from her dad and her older brother. Last year she brought a dude to his knees over a lamp at the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul. It’s a game, a challenge. It has nothing to do with how much money she actually has. It’s about how far back she she can get someone to bend. She’s also all about making money too.
A couple of weeks ago she came home, slammed her keys on the counter and scurried out the back door mumbling, “I’m going get that stuff.”
Cue the Sanford and Son theme song…
She bustled back in with an armload of someone else’s junk she found in the neighbor’s trash. Claimed she would either take it to the consignment shop or sell it on EBay during the holiday break.
Now back to the Cheap Bastard. He refuses to go Christmas shopping with me because he can’t stand to see me spend money. See, I don’t listen to his “Don’t spend any money,” and I continue to buy “As Seen On TV” trash (can’t help it, it’s a disease).
Spanky agrees to come. So we’re looking around in Target and she hauls off somewhere with my shopping cart. I finally find her, place the goods I’d been forced to hand-carry into the cart and scold her for running off like that. When we get home, I notice some things aren’t in my shopping bags.
Then I see Cheap Bastard high-five Spanky. Getting to the bottom of things, I find out Spanky has been working for her dad. She gets 10 cents for everything she sneaks out of my shopping cart. Things she decides I don’t need. I also discover this has been going on for a long time. Finally I know why the kid takes off with the cart while I’m shopping. It is to limit what I buy to what I can carry by hand.
This is good enough reason to give out some Christmas coal. Thing is, that’s exactly what they want. Ain’t gonna happen, and if I have to steal Sweetpea’s junk and sell it to buy presents, that’s what I’ll do. The way I see it, people’s jobs depend on mass spending this time of year. I’m not encouraging you to go into debt, don’t spend money you don’t have. If you do have it? Spend some, get those dollars circulating. It is, after all, how it got into your pocket. Right?