You know the way some girls keep getting asked over and over to be a bridesmaid? Well Blane keeps getting asked to be a pallbearer, over and over. Tomorrow will be the sixth time in just over a year that he “carries.” (This one isn’t tragic, he had a great aunt pass of old age.)

That’s how they say it in the business. Carry. Blane’s father, a funeral director asked Blane yesterday, “Are you going to carry?”

It is of course an honor to be asked to carry. People know that in life, Blane carries a lot of people. He’s a save-the-world-hero type. Always doing amazing things for people and never asking for anything in return.

There are very few people who will do things for you without keeping score. Blane is one of them.

As odd as this may sound, Blane did not carry me over the threshold on our wedding night. We forgot to do that. It wasn’t important. He’s always there to carry me when I need it. That’s all that matters to us. I’ve done the same for him.

Since I can’t be there with him tomorrow (this is out-of-state, he’s flying there now), I’d like to honor of my hero, Blane, for what he will be doing tomorrow. For what he always does, symbolically. Carry.

Here is a video by My Chemical Romance. It’s gothic, shows the beauty of a Christian funeral. I especially like the ending with the pallbearers and the umbrellas.


18 thoughts on “Carry

  1. Hello Kitty,
    Is the death in Blane’s family Marie ? If so I read about it in the paper. And I wonder if she was related to you all. I’m sure you still read to news on line from your home town.
    Take care and hope Blane had a safe trip.

  2. Hi, afr. I had to edit my last name out of your comment, sorry.

    Yeah, I do read my hometown paper from time to time. And thanks, yeah, he is already there safely.

  3. Yeah, and as Spanky so crudely pointed out, “Always a pallbearer and never a …”

    I was afraid to say that myself until he got home. Don’t want to test fate, you know.

  4. The great thing about Blane is he makes his friends feel like family.
    The dude could make a living as a recruiter, he has hooked up so many people with jobs. Great, career making ones.

  5. Kitty, I don’t know how to say this without it sounding macabre, but this is lovely. At the heart it’s more about Blaine and his ‘being there’ and less about why, though it’s wholly significant that he is there in an ultimate way. It’s uplifting in the way that a good role model can be. It gives me such peace knowing that excellent people are in the world being excellent.

  6. I got to “carry” for my grandmother, about 6 years ago. (At least where I’m from) Girls don’t traditionally do this. It was my 2 sisters, me, my brother, and 2 of my guy cousins. My mother got it into her head that it would be a nice way to send Grandma off, with her grandchildren “carrying” her. At the time, it all felt a little too cute. But I was so glad to do it. And I’m even more glad as time passes. And damn, I couldn’t believe how heavy she was! The woman was 4’9″, maybe 70 pounds when she passed. But it was still a looong walk to the hearse!

  7. That’s beautiful, Ginny, that you got to carry. I have never seen a female pallbearer, but I love the idea and wondered if it is done elsewhere.
    I’m so glad you wrote in and shared this.

    Yeah, those caskets can be quite a load. Those solid wooden ones are the heaviest.

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