Stuff I Know I Shouldn’t Be Thinking

There’s this church where Spanky’s school orchestra plays all of its concerts. It’s got this multimillion dollar pipe organ. I mean, look at this thing.

I haven’t heard them play it, it’s not where we go to church. 

Above that big pipe organ is this life-sized cross hovering over the pulpit area. It would be cooler if I couldn’t see the wires anchoring it to the ceiling. It would look as if it were floating in the air. But I can see the wires.

That is like a smoking gun.

My mind gets bored as the kids are setting up their instruments…

I “see” a Sunday mass in progress. A preacher man yelling at his congregation about hell, fury, and damnation. He arches his back, his arms flail back as those wires SNAP. The cross impales him, nailing him to the pulpit.

Watch the pipe organ. Those lateral tubes at the top. Let’s zoom in here.

Fuh-THOOM! Those pipes are like mini-cannons and Gatling guns, exploding fireballs and bullets onto the stunned congregation. Stained glass shatters and comes down like confetti. Blood gushes down the center aisle like a flash flood toward the pulpit…

Tap, tap, tap. The orchestra begins.

I better head to the nearest confession booth.