I had to borrow Sweetpea’s car yesterday because Blane had mine. I was in a state of shock as I hadn’t seen the inside of it in a while. It looked as if it had never been cleaned. Much like her room.
The floors were completely covered with empty soda cans, candy wrappers, school books, artwork… even clothes. If I had the time, I would have opened all her doors and cranked up the leaf blower on that interior. I didn’t, I was running late.
Getting out of our driveway takes great skill and patience. Precision driving.
We have these rear entry garages with a narrow alley behind the house. Here’s a photo.
If you’re lucky, your driveway lines up with the neighbor’s behind you. Not the case with us. Ours backs up to a tall wooden fence.
I start the car and the CD player is on but between songs. I usually like Sweetpea’s music so I don’t bother to change anything. I concentrate on getting out. I’m late. There is a film on the windows and the sunlight is giving me no visibility. So I roll down the window and am backing out when the music starts.
Hip hop/rap/crunk, not typical for Sweetpea, but whatever, I’m backing out.
And the lyrics start up. Loud. “Back That Ass Up…” (Repeat a few times)
Okay, I’m no prude, I can handle it. I actually think it’s a little funny because I’m backing the car out. The song gets worse, however. Seriously nasty, like worse than Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop.” I stop the car to listen to the lyrics, I mean how bad can a song get?
Bad. So bad I can’t even repeat what I heard.
I was not the only one concerned about these lyrics. The neighbor heard it all and decided to peep her head out the gate to see who was playing that. I hurried up and shut the music down, gave her a weak wave and drove off. Guess they won’t be trick-or-treating at my house this year.
My God I’m so embarrassed.
I need to wash my kid’s ears out with soap. Mine too. My ears, my ears!