What Am I Doing Up?

I was in the all night grocery store at 2 AM a few nights ago, just there for one thing but hell, when can I get out of there with one thing?

Grab some milk, bread, see some pretty eggplant and have a sudden urge to light that biatch and photograph it. Goes into the basket.

Get to the register and this dude at the counter, he asks me what I’m doing grocery shopping so late at night.

I’m quite stunned that someone has the nerve to ask me something like that. I’m not a bitch so I didn’t ask for his manager.

Besides, I like settling my own problems.

What I’m doing…

A million things cross my mind and not a single one of them is the truth. I didn’t owe him that. Nah, truth can be boring. Had he actually paid attention to what was in my basket, he wouldn’t have asked.

I could have told him I was a cop who just finished a stake out.
A doctor just finishing up an emergency thoracotomy.
A ghost hunter.
An insomniac musician with a craving for eggplant.
A bartender.
Hooker.
Stripper.

In the end I gave him the truth and something he deserved. I said, “Je ne comprends pas.”

Advertisements

20 thoughts on “What Am I Doing Up?

  1. Amazing. I’m sort of well known in my neighborhood for shopping between midnight and 4 AM. Usually, there are no people in the way of my scooter. Four AM is about perfect, they’ve finished restocking the store, but nobody else is around. Only bad thing is the Starbucks in the store isn’t open yet. No one would dare ask me why I was shopping at that hour. And if they did, I would hope I had a cane or crutch with me to hit them with.

  2. LOL, Eileen, that’s hilarious.
    I love shopping at night after everyone goes to bed. I don’t have to worry about running across anyone I know AND the stock boys are cute and flirty.

  3. It is too dangerous here to shop alone in the middle of the night. So we drive to the next town even to go to a better Wal-Mart.

  4. Um, was it not a GROCERY store? It’s not like you went into an all-night drycleaners and bought an eggplant. What are MOST people doing in a grocery store at 2 am?

  5. Voodoo, It is? LOL. I go there late at night when I’m in town. Oops.

    Dennis, I wish I’d thought of that one.

    I know, huh, Jr? Sheeee. He was acting like I broke up his boy’s club or something.

    LOL, Leah, one of my neighbors used to say she slept better knowing I was up all night. She also knocked at my door at about 2 AM once and asked me to take her to the hospital because her heart was pounding. She never even woke her husband up that night.

    Ginny, he also held up the eggplant and said, “It’s kind of late to be cooking eggplant.”
    I think his eyes would have popped out of his head if I’d said, “That’s not what I plan to do with that eggplant.
    I let him off easy.

  6. Maybe he never sees normal people there in the middle of the night, or just sees some weird stuff go down. I once had a boyfriend who lived across the street from a grocery store, on the second level. We could look into the store down all the aisles and would often see guys from the store chasing people who were trying to shoplift. It happened quite a bit, and I wouldn’t have believed it if he didn’t live there and we got such a good view. I don’t think I had ever seen that happen in that store when I was there myself, in person, just at night when we’d be hanging out in his place-

  7. “Justifying you having a job, since you’re apparently not qualified for the day shift.”

    Personally, I love shopping at 2 am. No lines. Though the occasional cracked-out shopper sometimes makes me reconsider.

  8. Once upon a time I went into the grocery store at 2 a.m. and I don’t even remember why. I just remember the stockers spread throughout the store, four of them each in a different aisle, all singing like angels to Boys II Men. The harmonies rose and I had chillbumps.

    It was a movie moment.

  9. I love that, Pooks. At the store I go to, one time they were messing around on the mic, cussing and shit. LOL.
    Blane and I’s first apartment was sandwiched between a funeral home and a police station. At night the cops would get all rowdy and say all sorts of things over the loudspeaker.
    The first time it happened, I awoke in the middle of the night hearing “Keith, this is God.” Scared the crap out of me because it sounded like someone was saying that in my room.

    Thanks Holly! I’m so flattered, you write so well and take such great photos. Thank you thank you thank you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s