Soft Edged Questions

I have this real estate license requirement where I have to take a continuing ed class every couple of years. That is due now, so I found one that allows me to study on my own and take the test online.

Just after signing up, I had to fill out a verification page. It had these supposedly simple questions to which only I would know all the answers. These same questions will randomly pop up while I’m taking the test and I’ll have 15 seconds to answer or the test will shut down. This is just to make sure it is me and not some person I paid to take the test for me.

Easy enough, right?

Well, the first question was. What year were you born?

It got a little tricky with the second question.  What are the last four digits of your phone number? Which phone are they talking about, my home, mobile, or business number? Okay, I’ll have to remember I gave them my home one. Fine.

Third. What city were you born in? Well, that is a very long name and sure as shit they will ask me over and over again and I’ll be fighting the clock to get that typed in there.

Fourth. What color are your eyes? Well, hell, that depends. Some days they are green and some they are blue. Even my driver’s licenses through the years aren’t consistent.

Five. What is my favorite movie? Ah, crap, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” is too much to type. I’ll just say “ET,” but that’s a lie. Or did I say “AI”? More on that later.

Six. Month you were born in? It should have been May. Damn.

Seven. How many siblings do you have? That was the hardest question on there and it caught me by surprise. I just sat there for the longest time without a clue. What do they mean? How many I used to have, or how many I have left? I don’t even remember what answer I gave, 2 or 4. What sort of fucking question is that anyway? That is exactly when I forgot the movie lie I told.

Eight. What is your hobby? Who has one hobby? This is screwed up.

Nine. What state do you want to retire in? That’s it, I’ve had it with sentences ending in prepositions, I’m supposed to learn something from these people? I don’t want to retire at all, ever, much less commit to a place. I’ll have to tell another lie. But which state? Screw that, I put “bliss.”

Ten. What is your favorite food? Hmmm. I could say, Cajun or be more specific with boiled crabs, but wait, fried oysters are awesome too. 

I’m so screwed, I’m going to flunk the easiest questions on that test.

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15 thoughts on “Soft Edged Questions

  1. Nurse, you and I are probably the only two people in the world who would take fried oysters over chocolate. Same goes for raw oysters. Love ’em.

    TysD, I found AI so depressing. I guess I’m just real sensitive to movies with children who aren’t laughing, playing, and stripping every moment of joy from life.

  2. Silverstar, I’m thinking about letting my nursing license go inactive next time around. I can’t really work in the field without a refresher course anyway.
    I’m thinking also about letting my real estate license go dormant a couple of years out to concentrate more fully on writing.

  3. I’m teaching on-line again this semester, learning about all the do-hickeys they have for testing. Mostly I just give writing assignments ’cause I’m an English Prof. Duh. But in the literature class I will be teaching on-line this summer, I will need to give exams. I’ve been puzzling over how to deal with the cheating thing. Never heard about the technology you mention, but I honestly do not think I could pass such a test myself. I always forget the date of my wedding Anniversary!

    Let the licenses lapse, yes, and write. This sounds much more manageable, Kitty.

  4. Writinggb, I already took a portion of the test and went through it as fast as I could to minimize the amount of pop up questions. They did ask the sibling question and I did get it wrong. Instead of shutting me down, it asked me another question.

  5. These question verifications have gone waaay overboard. I get it but then again, I don’t.

    A few weeks ago, I received a credit card to replace an expired one. I had to call in to “verify” that it was me. I was asked a series of questions (by a human in this cae). They told me that the questions MAY or MAY NOT actually even apply to me. They also said the questions could pertain to ANYTIME during my life. Huh?? Holy crap! I can’t remember what happened yesterday!

    So….I guess I flunked one of the questions because they threw out three addresses, that I may or may not have had during my transient, vagabond life and I said I didn’t recognize any of them.

    They said: We’re sorry. We cannot renew your card at this time.

    Meanwhile, a year ago, some woman swiped my cc info from my dog doctor’s office and used it all over town without even verifying the name. One of them was for Direct TV. The name NOR the address matched what was on my card but they hooked her up anyway, then charged my card. When I caught on and complained and told them to shut it down, they told me I had no right to disconnect some else’s service.

    It ain’t easy to prove your own identity these days.

  6. See, I would be thinking – they are just asking these questions to get information out of you so that THEY can steal your identity. So, I would have made all of that stuff up and written it down, lol.

  7. Hi, I just stopped by after finding out that we are a part of LeaKelley’s tribe 😉 These questions are just utterly ridiculous, for the reasons you pointed out. I’m with the commenter above who said forget the real estate, keep writing! I look forward to checking out more of your blog.

  8. “When I caught on and complained and told them to shut it down, they told me I had no right to disconnect some else’s service.”

    Julie, you couldn’t make that shit up. I’m sorry to mock your pain, but damn, that’s funny.

    Our credit card accounts were breached about four times last year. Mostly mass comprimise (someone hacked the entire bank), but we kept having our cards changed out. In the meantime the credit card co. keeps sending us these blank checks in the mail. Drives us crazy.

    Michele, I’m getting a little paranoid about putting my birthday anywhere on the internet because hackers use that info to get to your records. But yeah, I was creeped out about giving them correct answers to anything.

    Hi psychscribe, welcome to here. Lea is one talented woman, I like that, Lea’s Tribe. I feel all cool now.

    Hi Daily, that question never popped up during the test. I wonder if any human looks over those things, because that was the only one they skipped and I took three different tests.

    Oh, I passed the tests, btw, yay!

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