All was well until the meat grinder got involved

The day before Christmas Eve was so perfect I got to take the dogs out and shear off all that hair they’ve been shedding all over the house. The next day it snowed like crazy and although it was about 45 degrees when it began, the temperature dropped rapidly, the snow picked up, and then it piled up everywhere. Perfect. First white Christmas in my lifetime.

So everyone’s all crazy happy, singing Christmas carols that only a day earlier they said they never wanted to hear again, ever. Blane, he’s putting up the Christmas tree. I didn’t even have to ask, this is what Christmas snow does to southerners).

Me? I pull out the new meat grinder I got to make rice dressing. Last year I tried chopping all the meats and it didn’t work out. This year will be different for sure, there is magic snow on the ground and… Dude. A meat grinder, okay? What can be cooler than that in the kitchen?

It’s not one of those old metal crank ones.

I will get one of those next time I’m in Louisiana. I grew up watching my mom use hers, so I know how to operate the thing.

I got what I could get around here, an attachment that fits on my KitchenAid stand mixer.

What’s important to know about this is it’s electric and I don’t ever read instructions to anything. Half the fun of a new thing is figuring it out how to make it work.

So I threw a pack of raw chicken gizzards down the hole and used the plunger thing to tamp it. Out the other side, curly strings of meat emerged. Awesome and quick. This was something that took at least an hour to chop by hand last year. Oh what a magical thing.

Next came the raw chicken liver. I threw those down the hole and tamped it, but nothing happened. So I shoved the plunger down hard and out the other side… An EXPLOSION of pureed chicken liver in my face, hair, on my arms, shirt. I look behind me and oh God, my dog Mireille! She’s white and I see these thick, red lines of raw meat all over her.

Now that was pretty disgusting for me, but for the dog? She ran around in circles licking herself, what a gift she must have thought, if she could think.

When the other dog heard all the ruckus, she came dashing in to clean the floor. That stuff was all over.

You know how difficult it stop a dog from eating raw meat spray? It took two people to straighten out that mess. Thanks a million, Blane, you saved Christmas.

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11 thoughts on “All was well until the meat grinder got involved

  1. Amy ended up buying me a meat grinder/ sausage maker this year, along with a few other things. The best thing i found for chicken liver and gizzards is to cook them for a few minutes and throw them in a chopper, like the magic bullet or something like that. Turns out in a few minutes everytime.

  2. Cook them first. Now you tell me.

    What sort of meat grinder did you get? Old school or electric?

    My rice dressing came out really good, I surprised myself. I’m almost ready to take on boudin. Have you ever made it?

  3. I wish I had a photo of that, every time I think of my dog with that stuff all over her and the “jackpot!” look on her face I laugh myself silly. She looked like a candy cane (white dog, red stripes).

  4. It is an an electric one, about the best one you can get out here without finding some kind of specialty shop. I have not used it yet, but I have been making rice dressing for every holiday from scratch for a few years. Boudin is not too far off from rice dressing. I worked at a meat market for a summer job during high school and had a chance to watch them make boudin and sausage. The hardest part is getting used to the timing on the stuffer so you don’t make funky looking logs or a mess.

    The original gift Amy wanted to get me was a hot dog roller. Although, I love hot dogs and would use it, it is just not as cool as a sausage stuffing meat grinder. 🙂

  5. I’m terrified.

    Also, I can’t look at the meat grinder and not think of Sweeney Todd (a favorite musical long before Tim Burton came along) ….and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

  6. Holly, funny you say that. See that photo of the old meat grinder at the top? I stole it off the internet but had to Photoshop out the people they had going into the grinder funnel.

    Meat grinder. Ho ho ho.

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